Buh-Log

Haven't written in a few days.

I never know how to do updates adequately. Blah. Shashi always writes these wonderful snippets about what she cooked. I spent about fourty five minutes today flipping through recipe books and tasting spices and then another three hours watching cooking shows (Everyday Italian and my beloved Top Chef) and cooked nothing. I was ever so pleased that Mum made steak salad though. Great God, I love food.

Bo worked me out so hard this morning. I can feel the little lactic acid gremlins churning about all excited to cripple me into a slow moving slouched weakling. But it felt great at the time. I, btw, hate push ups. I did about 1000 today, so that about fills my quota for forever. It was sad, though, b/c today was my last trainer session and I shall miss Bo. I think I'll bake him something, and hopefully it won't turn into a complete disastray. I'm thinking Nigella's chocolate cloud cake. Pretty much amazing, is what that is.

Been working for Fred for the last few days. It's only 3 or 4 hours at a time, but I'm making 10 bucks and hour. The projects I'm working on are just thinks he hasn't gotten around to doing yet, because they're time consuming or not important enough to warrant taking off work to do. I think I e-mailed Fred about 300 times today. But it's good. I enjoy working from home. I can wear whatever I want (or you know, not wear). Tomorrow I have to do car scheduling. Possibly music loading, too. But we'll see what the day brings.

Shade is coming for breakfast. I was going to do fried steak and scrambled eggs with tomatoes and Parmesan, but then I remembered she doesn't eat steak, so that's all gone to bits. There is a lovely little French cafe thing on Wilson though (the guy that owns it is like, the most typical quasi-skeezy French cafe owner imaginable). I think we'll go there. She's returning books she borrowed like... last year or something. I'm excited, but I'll be honest, I can't remember which ones they are. I'm hoping it's High Fidelity or Still Life with Woodpecker or The Cheese Monkeys, b/c I'd like to read any one of those again soon. If it's not Still Life, I'm just going to order a copy, b/c Tom Robbins is amazing.

Hung out with Kathryn last night. Glad she's in town, although she does go back to work tomorrow. Mom leaves at 5:30a to go to Mexico for four days, and Tess is in Delaware. Ugh. Also: can't go to Ocean City when I wanted to, but I'm thinking I might go visit Red in NY instead. We'll see.

So there's that. I started a short story today, about a woman whose husband dies, and the first time she goes back to visit his family. I had a really great start, with a lot of sensuality and a believable narrative voice. Then about three pages into it, I completely lost it. I hate this. Nothing is coming together in my head lately. I think it's because I've got all these other ridiculous cares going on, that once I get sorted out for sure will allow room for more sensible things. But it's a matter that could go one way or drastically another. Blech.

In a moment of weakness I called Matt last night. Bad decision. At the end, he said in this strangely strong and clear voice, "I love you, Hannah". I think I smooshed my head into the pillows and muttered either "Thanks" or "Okay". *Is retarded. I wish Tess was home. I would've called her instead, or if I'd known Mom was up, would've gone and ate ice cream with her in the kitchen. I'm such a moron, though. Oi.

Love. H.