No. 51: to break with circumstance

Some wonderful songs to be depressed to:

- "Last Time I Saw Richard" by Joni Mitchell
When I find myself singing this quietly when I walk around, I know that I'm nearing that teetery delicious edge of depression. I can still laugh though, b/c I hear Barney in my head go "The last time you saw me was NOT Detroit. We weren't even alive in '68."

- "Save Me" by Aimee Mann
One of the most beautiful songs ever. "You Could Make a Killing" should probably be on this list too, but its obvious attachment to the movie Cruel Intentions (however pleasurable the guilt of liking it may be) disqualifies it from the list official.

- "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Death Cab for Cutie
I know, I know, I know... a Death Cab song? Teengirlsquad is maxed out on that one. But seriously-- the sentiments expressed in that song are completely appropriate for a depressive state. You know I'm right.

- "Drinking at the Dam" by Smog
This whole album is pretty fan-expletive-tastic for gray days. But this song in particular. Melancholy, any one?

- "Bird Stealing Bread" by Iron & Wine
It just fits. I don't know why. Sam Bean and his far away voice and the line "does his hand in your hair feel a lot like a thing you believe in/ or a bit like a bird stealing bread out from under your nose?" Silly purposeful melancholy, I say.

- "Bleed" by The Negro Problem
Crazy band name, I know. However, the song is gorgeous, and sad, and lovely. Also, its affiliation with Weeds makes it amazing.

- "Wonderwall" by Ryan Adams
Ryan's whispy voice makes this song so much more amazing for sadness than the Oasis version. I know, I know... Ryan Adams. But I can't help that I love him.

One more, although I have playlists here, people.

- "Quiet" by Rachel Yamagata
She's so... Zach Braff, but I can't help but love her. I think it's something to do with her being Japanese, kinda, and having this beautiful alternatively husky and song-birdish blues voice. Anyway, the song is lovely, and tugs at the "don't expect anything" line. Also, I'm a sucker. I know.

What a almost thoroughly disappointing day. It's only Tuesday. Last night threw me off. It was nice to see Mac, though.
I can't decide if I'm just being a generally over emotional girl right now, if I need to go back to therapy, or if there's seriously something amiss. I probably just need to start working out again, and actually develop some sort of a life schedule. And stop arguing with Mom. Meh. Self loathing lacks enjoyability.

H.