No. 232: the third planet is sure they're being watched

i read a short story today by jean stafford (whose styles i'm still not sure i like). in it, there is a miserly woman, who despite herself cannot help but be cantankerous. she knows this about herself and tries to stop it but the situation always lends itself to her being a grouch.

in a similar vein, in find myself arguing without meaning to. last night i went out with some friends to the Charles to watch the short films that were nominated for the Oscars. afterwards, we gave another friend a ride home and he kept oddly bashing baltimore. i knew that he was from here and yet it didn't click with me that he would be slamming it so hard. i said baltimore was cute, and he got uppity about it and said it was gritty, which it is, but it's also cute in places. he kept saying, "i'm from here, i don't know why you're referencing the place like i don't know it". i couldn't just stop a second and say what i felt later, which was that if we had both grown up in the place, we both had valid opinions and i don't know why mine had any less importance than his did. i wasn't trying to negate his feelings about the city, just trying to assert my perceptions, which i felt equally worthy. i think i offended him without meaning to and it made me feel crummy.

there are people, like greg and my mother, that i can have heated conversations, even debates with and not mortally offend or get so excited that it becomes a fight. there are other people that doesn't hold true for. it's just annoying that i can't calm down enough to not let it be a fight, and i think that it only happens when the person starts to denounce my point of view. two people having a discussion about anything have equally valid opinions because they're collected from personal experiences. i think it's arrogance that leads us to diminish others in debate, and further than that, a narrow mindedness. some opinions are more valid than others, true, but not when it's a question of experiences.

anyway-- i don't like that about myself and i don't like it others yet it seems to be cropping up a lot lately. also christian bale. i can't get away from him. teddy showed greg, carlos and i a HILARIOUS video made from his explosion at the light director. catchy, except for that it's totally obscene.

I've decided I can't subscribe to Descartes. He doesn't go far enough.
Rereading Julius Caesar for class made me oddly miss Sami and Sarah. I was disecting Antony's speech to the crowd at the presentation of Caesar's body for ethos, pathos and logos and I think I'm going to end up writing my paper on it. NERD.

Also: going to finish Season 3 of Sorpanos and stop watching TV shows for a while. I need to be reading more than I am and definitely writing more. It hit me this morning that it's become routine for me, by accident, to watch a show when I have a free minute, whether or not I really want to. Gross.

HS