Some Brief Letters

Dear Michael Chabon,
I hate you. I am coming for you, with my newly invented talent stealing ray. Beware.
Signed, Bitterly Jealous
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Dear Madeleine Peyroux,
Can I have your voice?
Signed, an Admirer
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Dear Best Friends,
Peru is so much less cool than me. Stay in this country!
Signed, GoingToBeAloneOnMyBirthday
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Dear David English,
You're 14 and a complete brilliant prodigy child. Find out who Jesus is.
Signed, Your best friend's friend
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Dear ISIS,
Stop sucking.
Signed, Extremely annoyed by my new college registrar system.
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Dear Brian,
Thank you for being a good friend. John and I are insane and would be worse without you.
Signed, your best friend's crazy girl who you to hate.
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Dear John,
Thanks for putting up with me. I'm trying to be nicer.
Signed, Yer gf.
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Dear Stephen Price,
You were greatly loved. Look after your family (especially LP) from Heaven. I know you were a great guy and I'm sorry I never met you.
Signed, a friend of your oldest sister.
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Dear Hannah,
Stop being so stupid.
Signed, yourself.
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<3 H