No. 91: New Year's, a Prelude

Until we meet again
Until it's like it was
Until then
Until the answers start raining down
Until the skies open up until the trumpet starts
Until then
Until the city and the county ain't divided
Until then
Until the spirit and the mind ain't fighting
Until the scenes of tomarrow and today finally play

I will carry you through the hurricane waters
And I'll remember you in the blue skies....
-citizen cope.

so. it's new year's eve, boy and girls. the close of another year. GRACIOUS, was this year ever a mess. but tonight should be good. that will make a total of about 5 or 6 months of good days total. i think my night is as follows: go to MBC around 3ish and help out for a few hours, possibly a stop at Saxby's, home to change. Back to MBC around 9:30, donate, mingle, chill. Face's for a bit, then stop by Michael's party before either heading to Brian's or going home. I think. There's probably going to be a variety of changes in my plans because honestly, it's New Year's Eve and I hate driving.

[An aside: Citizen Cope the other night was amazing. I am now immune to the powers of "Sideways" and can now just enjoy the stupid song instead of sinking into emo tears. So bully to you, Sideways thrall. I spite you. ]

Anyway. NYE parties tonight, recoop and possibly group luncheon tomorrow/ packing. Then Vail til the 7th. I'm sort of excited, but also knowing that I'm going to miss everyone. Then it's back to the Hop for Intersession shenanigans. I see myself coming home a lot, honestly. And especially next semester when Greg leaves and Brian is by himself. UGH, I don't even want to think about it.

What is with my friends and getting married in their early twenties?! Seriously. And what's more? Why not ME!? ... Oh wait I remember.

Took Kathryn for "Leisure time at Saxby's" last night. It was nice to not be the only girl for once. And I got to see Sam and Peterman the Youngest, which was nice. I missed those kids. The most hysterical/horrific things come out of their mouths.

So-- to you who still keep up with my nonsensical ramblings:
Happy New Year!

So there.

H.

No. 80: Work all night if you have to

Finished the first essay for History of Africa. The fact that I finished the whole thing today and also got some Psych studying in is bringing me hope. Psych is going to be disastrous though. Ah well.
Trying to decide whether to go back to school on Saturday or Sunday, or to go to Nick's Friday night or Saturday morning, or to stay home til Sunday after church. Blech.

Oh, really quick: a shout out to Baked Ziti and McShane. It's ever so strange that you read this, but the other night was completely off the hook (G-spot, you looked so sharp).

Trying to decide which ink I want next, how much it's going to cost, and when I should get it. Christmas gift to myself? I think so.

Tomorrow is going to either be wonderful or incredibly stressful. Have to:

• Go grocery shopping so I have something to eat. I'm dying for soup, whilst battling this stupid, extremely poorly timed cold.
• Go to Target and get mom's silly fake Christmas tree for her.
• Plan/write the second essay
• Study Psych
• Watch kung fu movies with Givens
• Trifecta.
  
• Not get sicker

Been listening to Mountain goats and cello music all day. Forgot how much I love the Mountain Goats. Just make me think about when I saw them (him) live at Sonar. Which makes me think about Mike. Meh. I know it's stupid, but I miss him. 705s keep saying it'll be okay soon. Being friends with Diamond and WKC still is awesome, but it makes me miss the tall kid more, sometimes. Why do people even allow me to get into relationships? Seriously. I'm such a disaster.

Had breakfast with Tess the other morning @ Saxby's. Deliriously happy to hang out with her. We had a candy buying adventure of epic proportions. I've missed her so much. Can't wait til Kathryn comes home. Things will feel saner and safer then, I think.

I've been sleeping on and off all day, and now I get to go in for a solid eight hours. Am inordinately excited.

As an aside: facebook Texas Hold 'Em may be an emissary of the evil.

H.

No. 73: The Gut Grappling Haha Demon

Credit goes to the lovely and talented Jess Begans for the title of this blog.

Listening to Diamond's remix of Faces of the Earth by the D plan. It's gorgeous.

Despite loads and loads of reading to do, I went to the undergrad reading. Am so glad I did.
I felt like I actually could because of the following:

I freaked out a lot this morning when I realized that the paper for Art History was due tomorrow and I hadn't see either of the images I was supposed to write about. I talked to my art history professor after class, and without so much as batting an eyelash when she heard why I hadn't been to the museums yet (which was true and it was a stupid series of events that prevented me from doing so), granted me an extension until Friday. So then I was excited because that meant I could just go after Spanish to the Walters and look at the stuff I needed to and if I had to miss a few minutes of History of Africa, no worries. But it turns out the Walters is closed Monday and Tuesday. So I'm screwed because Wednesdays mean Fiction which I can't miss. So I talked to my Spanish professor after class and she told me it was no big deal if I was late or didn't show for Spanish since I'd already turned in my composition. In short: I'm going to get the images for the paper, have more than enough time to write it, and not be penalized for Spanish. Baller.

Anyway-- the reading. Beautiful poetry, some in French (there was no girl in that room who didn't want to sleep with that guy). Then Jess read some incredible short fiction-- funny, a little twisted, totally unexpected-- and Diamond closed with this gorgeous snippet from the perspective of someone with OCD. I have a copy in my possession for rainy and sad days. Totally mad about his stuff. Diamond, you have in me a fangirl. Sad, I know.

Greg is picking up Savannah from BWI tomorrow. I'm nervous about meeting her. The fiancee of one of the eight-- it's like I want to make a good impression, despite everything. I'm such a terrible Hop student, considering I'm never here. Class, work and then straight back to NoVa for Trifecta and Tess and Rika or to Jenny's for couch potato inaction and puppies. Gas is costing me a fortune. Ah well.

So tomorrow's plan is BMA, Psych, Walter's, Spanish (if I can make it), Carma's for the daily coffee fix, then Fiction for two hours. Come back go for a jog possibly, then homework for a while, bed. Carma's all day on Thursday. Work on Spanish, possibly some devicing with 705s, work all day on Friday, drive home. Poker. YES!

Third ink in two or three weeks (depending on the paycheck). Excited. By then the 2nd should be almost healed. Met a girl with gorgeous ink tonight at the reading. Didn't catch her name, have to ask Will.

Still thinking about Mason. Thinking about other things, too. Like London this summer, and California, and Pittsburgh, and either Maine or Montreal with Dad. And things like denial and calm. The weather is making me wistful. Sigh.

Finally: The Dismemberment Plan. Amazing. Not kidding. Listen.

H.

No. 72: lash out first

It's not there now/ ineloquence and anger/ are all we have...
-Snow Patrol

Sometimes, time doesn't heal. Somethings don't fade, and if they do, it's a timely process and the early stages are artificial or at least extremely delicate. Instead of staying put in that little box you put them in, these things sneakup(or saunters in) at inconspicuous times on random Wednesdays and Sundays.
This is why you have to emotionally lock down and become an heinous misanthrope. Safer.
Yeah-- long story short, I still can't control my behavior as well as I'd like to. This time was not my fault, though. So at least that's a step up.

I hate all my classes. This semester could not go faster.
Just found out I have an art history paper due on Wednesday. I haven't seen all the images I need to write the thing. Bad. Especially b/c I DON'T have time to go to a museum today or tomorrow. Ugh.

So:
- Huge amount of reading and response paper for History of Africa
- Art history paper and reading.
- Psych reading
- Spanish paper
- Short story in Fiction and finish reading
- Work Thursday and Friday
- Home Saturday for Mum's birthday Sunday.

Rough week ahead. Heeere we go.

H.

No. 70: Good points, some bad points

"Think of Baltimore. Small city."

I've officially started the application to Mason.
I know this is going to draw a lot of flack, but it's my decision so you all can deal with it.
There are so many reasons why, it's a bit overwhelming. Coming to Mason, financially makes way more sense. Even if I don't live at home, either live in a Mason dorm or find a place for myself, it's about 4 times cheaper for me to go school in VA. But likely, I'd live at home, which would be free, making it 5 times cheaper. I would also probably go insane, so I'd like to find a place to live in with Tess or someone. Other reasons include the fact that while I love Hopkins and think I'm getting a pretty good education, I can write anywhere. No, no Glen Blakes or Alice McDermott's at Mason, but still-- I'll get writing instruction. And probably be able to actually write a lot more. Downsides include: having to take stupid requirements involving quantitative math (ick), the majority of Mason people, the enormity of it. But there's a way bigger art scene, I'm closer to my best friends and MBC, and I'll have more money for after school, where I'll probably either travel or go to a culinary arts school and get a degree as a chef.

It's a bit of a mess right now. We'll see if I get into Mason first, and then go from there. Right now, it's just an application. I'm def. finishing the year out at Hopkins. It'll take that long to convince the 705s not to hate me for leaving.

Today was filled with excessive amounts of food. And I'm so tired now!!! Absolute food coma. My aunt is going to have a baby this week. Is that insane? It is! New family. Exciting.
Although this whole birthing thing (and watching Knocked Up) has totally put me off having children forever. Meh.

Trifecta outings later. And Eva. And Tess. It's gonna be a good weekend. Only have to do one reading, write some more of my (lame) short story, and finish Sonny Liston was a Friend of Mine, which is really wonderful thus far.

Started reading Breakfast of Champions this morning. Vonnegut was amazing. Irreverent. But amazing. I don't think I bought this book though, a fact I realized after I started writing my notes in the margins. I'm pretty sure it's Sam's, and I'm pretty sure he's gonna stab me. Meh.

- hannah