No. 222: happy holidays to you

merry christmas to everyone i didn't already say it to. it was a lovely year. got a new camera, yay.
it was amazing to see all my family. sophia has grown up so much and liv is huge and so adorable. owen and logan are getting older too. corey's leaving on the 5th with the Marines for Iraq. scary.

but yes-- the next big seasonal event is New Year's Eve. I have no idea where to spend it. i want to drop in on MBC's thing, i want to see McQ's, and Lauren is having a thing at her place in CP, and tess and kathryn just wanna chill, which sounds nice, too. but driving on NYE is a poor decision, so I have to plan it right. i would also like to look fantastic, at least once, to mark the start of a new year which will see me in a lot of sweat pants and t-shirts. can't figure out what to wear, though. if 2007 was the year of problems, 2008 was the year of indecision. i'll pray about it, we'll see where i end up. i think it'll be a good time whatever it ends up being.

had breakfast with tess and mom this morning at silver diner in honor of tess's return from venezuela and her advent to spain for the semester. it was great to see her, but i hate that nova doesn't have good breakfast places. jimmy's or blue moon would've been so much more appealing and memorable. i miss Charm City, man. i'm very glad i'm going back for intersession. i think being in NoVa much longer than a couple weeks would start to get to me. although it's been really good to see mom and to hang out at my house, which i love, and to see kendall and the like. still-- i miss carlos and greg and maddie and all the More people. blah.

saw the Spirit with some kids in Columbia last night. enh. it wasn't great, it wasn't awful, it was just entertainment. could've waited til it came out on DVD though. did finally see Hellboy II at McQ's, which was phenomenal. Just enjoyed the crap out of the direction DelToro went. Creepy, magical, action packed and punning. Satisfying to the max. Now I wanna see Valkyrie, and Tarantino's war film. What's with war movies all of a sudden? Did anyone see Boy in the Striped Pajamas?

here are the songs, there's only 5, and no playlist. all christmas tunes. I got mad lazy. Last week's, the last post of the Songs of 2008, will be good, I promise.

1. Silent Night - Bing Crosby
2. Jingle Bells - Bing Crosby
3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Perry Como
4. Baby, It's Cold Outside - Zooey Daschenel and Will Ferrell
5. The Hannukah Song - Adam Sandler

And that's all I have to say about that.
=hs=

No. 150: Half Way Through

Last Tuesday I finished my Sophomore year. I will probably end with a 3.08, or some such B+ nonsense. Next semester, I think, will be more productive and I an step it up with Writing Sems. I'm going to have to for Glen Blake and Jean McGarry.

Moving into the Marylander in June, which should be nice.
Leave for London for three weeks of study abroad on Saturday. I'm really excited, but it's also going to be kind of nerve wracking. My first time in a foreign country without any real adult presence. It'll be an experience, that's for sure. Natalie and I keep sending each other facebook message that equate to: "Blah blah blah ENGLAND blah blah blah EXCITED!" It's gonna be a good time.

Things are so weird right now. And I took Tums before I went to bed so I have HORRIBLE aftertaste morning breath, which you didn't need to know, but I felt like sharing.

Today I'm having lunch with Tess and then probably hanging out in Arlington, then having dinner with Fred @ Faccia Luna. Tomorrow I MUST clean my car before I go hang out with Travis. It's pretty grode right now.

Anyway--- that's what's up right now. Without further ado, here's this week's 7, late as usual.

1. Love You Madly// Cake: Found this on a mix I made Freshman year. It reminds me of Money Mac who I miss desperately and is St. Lucia in the 80 degree, sunny weather. Merr. Great song, though.
   
2. The Crunge// Led Zeppelin: One of Zeppelin's greatest. I was cruising to it in the sun a few days ago and it just worked. Houses of the Holy is an incredible album anyway, so that makes sense.
   
3. Work It (Remix)//Missy Elliot: This is only on here b/c of a saying that goes in our group that comes from this song. If you're being a little slow or stupid, for whatever reason, and you have a moment wherein speaking is harder that it should be, someone who catches you basically just goes, "Why you act all like errrr, duhh?" So that stupid phrase got stuck in my head and now this song (which is actually pretty sweet)is on here.
   
4. Party for the Fight to Write// Atmosphere: People (like Carlos) tend not to like Atmosphere. Mike likes him, but likes Safe Francis more. I personally love Atmosphere, I don't know why. Not all his music is super deep, but almost all of it is really nicely written, lyrically, and the beats are quite good. I mean, why not? It's a great song anyway. Have a listen.
   
5. Better Days// Citizen King: Watched the Malcolm in the Middle finally on My 20 a few days ago. You find out they've always destined Malcolm to become the working man's president. I like that. They played this song and then we all remembered liking it when it first came out. Then it got stuck in my head and was ruined for me. But here it's on the list, b/c it's actually a pretty good song.
   
6. Now That You Got It//Gwen Stefani: I don't really like her new direction. I got as much of a novelty kick out of "Hollaback Girl" as the next person, but then she kept going! and now I'm sort of ready for Ska Gwen again. Anyway-- I wanted to hear "Rich Girl" and "Wind It Up" yesterday, so I cut the album on. This song came on when it was on shuffle and I actually think the beat is one of the best beats I've heard all year. Check it.
   
7. Just Dropped In (To See What Condition my Condition was in)// Kenny Rogers: Three words: The Big Lewbowski. End of story.
   

Aaaaaand, the end.

H.

No. 135: i've been thinking again...

So I was all excited because I was finally going to have an honest to God Seven Songs Sunday. Except that my Spanish composition took me a lot longer than I thought it was going to and it's now technically Monday. In any case-- the songs are going to be Sunday-ish.

This weekend was sort of nondescript. On Friday night we went to Diamond's senior recital, which was GORGEOUS and wonderful (insert more well-deserved praise here). Afterwards errands were run and then we all convened at Maura's for a celebration of Diamond. Then a 90s party in Wyman Towers, which was hilarious. Mike and I were exhausted, though, so we called it a night. Saturday, Michael went to Jersey to have dinner with his sister for her birthday. I had promised Greg and Carlos I would take them to the mall, but I had also promised myself I would actually do some laundry this weekend. So I took them home with me, put my laundry in, and then we went to Tyson's. They met Mom, Fred, and Brian. Weirdest juxtaposition ever. Nice, though. We chilled, I folded laundry and then we drove back. I hung out with them, then hung out with Michael. This morning was practically narcoleptic. Read the rest of my philosophy assignment and then passed out again. Finally did get around to doing some work and have now almost finished all the assignments. I'm going to go to bed and get seven and a half hours of sleep and work on the last of my NonFic piece in the morning. Made dinner for 710 and watched part of the John Adams, HBO miniseries. Much like the new Counting Crows album, it's different than you think it will be, and actually not that bad. I was surprised on both accounts.

Joe's reading is tomorrow night @ Den @ 7, so all of you kids who know him/are in need of some literary entertainment should come. It's usually both high comedy and high quality, Lord love him.

Now here's the Seven, sort of on time. It's a dedicatory set.

1. "Big Kid's Table" by Thao and the Get Down, Stay Down: For Michael. I know I've already had one of her songs on here, but we did just go see the show. Anyway, the line, "You are strong, strong, strong/stronger than me/with a heart much more lovely" is so applicable. *insert expression of gross sentiment here*
2. "At Last" by Neko Case: For me. I love this song wholly. It was the first Neko Case song I ever listened to, and the first I ever loved. Fox Confessor Brings the Flood may be one of my Top Five Desert Island albums, but I'm not sure yet. I'll keep you updated.
3. "Leaf House" by Animal Collective: For Carlos. He loves this song, I love this song, and it's a good song for recreation. It spazzes and is a little crazy in places, but can be quiet and winsome, which describes how both of us view each other-- I think.
   
4. "The Way" by Fastball: For Greg C. Reinvention of memory for a song.
5. "On Call" by Kings of Leon: For Brian. Because he always (usually, haha) are and I always will be.
6. "Get Innocuous" by LCD Soundsystem: For EVA/Posse, with special regard to the DJ. Because we dance and we have fun and because John loves this beat.
7. "Kind and Generous" by Natalie Merchant: For Tess. Because her birthday was last week and she is all these things and my sister.
   

That's all for now, folks.
Bon Nuit.

H.

no. 131: fresh feeling

the title of this blog has actually nothing to do with the blog itself. i just love that eels song and i've had a craving for the Scrubs soundtracks all day, which just happens to feature them. anyway...

a note before the main blog: fred and i were watching That 70s Show earlier today when we finally got home. jackie told FES she was into him and he turned her down b/c he thought she was using him in desperation. so out of revenge, jackie vandalizes his car. fred goes, "ouch! his car!? this girl is nuts!" and i said it without thinking, "you've gotta be a harsh cow to mess with the auto"... and then it sort of hit me and i was moved immediately both to rage and then laughter, struck by the hilarity of the situation. to sum up: vandalizing somebody's ride identifies you as a crazy person. the end.

blog proper:

what makes us want to hurt people that hurt us? you may not even really be mad at the person who hurt you, but when dealt with painfully, the immediate reaction is retaliate with equal or advanced force. what is it in humans that makes us want to do that?
my best friend, who i consider as a sister, has been sort of m.i.a. of late (not referencing the hip-hop artist), and it kinda hurts. i feel like i could make more gestures, but not at risk of being annoying. we were very close last summer and last semester and i miss her. she sees/talks to/calls my mom more than me, and it began to bug me a lot this week. i think it bugged me more than it would've because my guy best friend, brian, decided it was a good idea to become a jerk and stop calling and answering. i didn't do anything, to my knowledge, to piss him off, and was displeased to find that he's been treating others among his friends with the same disregard. finding that out made me ever more angry b/c brian's better than that and i hate when he stoops to levels of immaturity and pettiness. blech. of course i didn't react like an adult and just deal with it. i got on with my life, which is sort of busy right now anyway, but when B finally did call (only in attempt to cover himself with another friend who he offended), i treated him with the same disdain i thought he was treating me with. mature.

had a long talk about that with mom today. she said the equivalent of: yes, it sucks when friends don't do what they say they will, but man up. i swear, everyone is starting to sound like the DJ (who, while he's a mess himself, does possess a veritable fount of wisdom). so i am.

but seriously-- why is the reaction to be hurt and retaliate with hurt? why do we fear weakness? i mean, of course no one likes to be victimized, but what is it in us, or maybe just in me, that hates frailty. it's alright to be hurt my something and then just heal. there's no inherent need to retaliate. but we do it anyway. we make movies about it. we glorify retaliation. i think it's a lack of faith.
maybe.

i only say this because it rarely ever makes you feel better (for long) and it (usually) never brings about the desired results. meh.

as an aside: memories do in fact come back to bite you. what's that counting crows line? "if dreams are like movies/ then memories are films about ghosts". i've been viewing too much cinema lately.

tomorrow: lazing about, reading. maybe church. need to get in touch with miss meredith and figure out if she's going to this st. patty's day shindig of my father's with me. people in my areas: pre and post St. Patty's Day Parade party on bonsal street. call if you want to come with.

and now: oscar wilde, gary VAY-NER-CHUCK, and sweet sweet sleep in my own bed. Ahhh, spring break.

H.

no. 125: abuse

some thoughts:

- this weather has just about done me in. i'm ready for spring and warmth.
* i miss my mother. and the boys. and TESS.
3) i want to go dancing tonight, but my head feels as big as a watermelon and standing is such a drag that i'm sort of loathe to think of it.
~ i'm trying to cling on to my true beliefs and values and remain a decent human being. this proves to be more difficult than previously expected. in short: not being an awful person is, sometimes, hard.
IV. merci dieu c'est vendredi.


H.

do i stress you out? my sweater's on backwards and inside out and you say
how appropriate...

my mood calls decidedly for some alanis.

No. 89: Just ask the Axis

Movies to see:
- 3:10 To Yuma
- No Country for Old Men
- I'm Not There
- Juno
- Sweeney Todd
- Golden Compass

Things to do tomorrow:
- Fold laundry.
- Put gas in my car.
- Pack for Dad's.
- Caffeinate.
- Be thrilled by Rufus Wainwright's incredibility.

Things to do in general:

- Have heart to heart with father.

- Get Geof to get the extra turn table from Matt's.
- Rescue vinyl from Hopkins.
- Buy every available Hendrix vinyl.
- Buy every available Cream vinyl.
- Buy every available Dylan album.
- Buy every available Miles Davis album.
- Listen to all of them, over the period of a few days, with some good friends.

- Fill in Tess.

- Ink No. 3: Mum and Lena on shoulder.

- Be less crazy.

H.

No. 83: Man, you really freak me out

In case you were wondering, yes, that is a line from Weezer's (quasi-embarrassing, most recent album) Make Believe, and yes, I do like that song, despite it's absolute cheese.

Studied with Sam for approximately 3 hours out of the 6 hours we were attempting to study last night but the whole experience was good for mental health in general. And anyway-- I feel like I grasp more of the information now, as I always do when I talk something out.
Hopefully a good strong cup of Carma's coffee and a forty minute cram session will help.
The beautiful thing is that after this stupid test, I'm done with the semester from Hell and I can go home and curl up in bed and sleep of this ridiculous cold hanging over me. It'll be nice to breathe with a rattle in my chest again.

Tuesday, my sisters are coming over, which should be amazing since I haven't spent significant moments with them in a while. Tess will take an Alirio break and Kathryn, you know, won't be in North Carolina and there will be movie watching and too much pop corn. McYumms.
Wednesday will probably just be me lying in bed watching more movies and eating huge bowls of salad and drinking copious amounts of tea. And Thursday Nick is coming to visit, which will be baller. Hopefully I'm well by then and we can galevant across the district. Friday is Tess's thing and Saturday Rufus!!! Weee. Then up to Baltimore again to visit pops and then go to Gram's for Christmas as the McFadden's "07. Bella.

And now? Off to cram and caffeinate.
-H.

No. 80: Work all night if you have to

Finished the first essay for History of Africa. The fact that I finished the whole thing today and also got some Psych studying in is bringing me hope. Psych is going to be disastrous though. Ah well.
Trying to decide whether to go back to school on Saturday or Sunday, or to go to Nick's Friday night or Saturday morning, or to stay home til Sunday after church. Blech.

Oh, really quick: a shout out to Baked Ziti and McShane. It's ever so strange that you read this, but the other night was completely off the hook (G-spot, you looked so sharp).

Trying to decide which ink I want next, how much it's going to cost, and when I should get it. Christmas gift to myself? I think so.

Tomorrow is going to either be wonderful or incredibly stressful. Have to:

• Go grocery shopping so I have something to eat. I'm dying for soup, whilst battling this stupid, extremely poorly timed cold.
• Go to Target and get mom's silly fake Christmas tree for her.
• Plan/write the second essay
• Study Psych
• Watch kung fu movies with Givens
• Trifecta.
  
• Not get sicker

Been listening to Mountain goats and cello music all day. Forgot how much I love the Mountain Goats. Just make me think about when I saw them (him) live at Sonar. Which makes me think about Mike. Meh. I know it's stupid, but I miss him. 705s keep saying it'll be okay soon. Being friends with Diamond and WKC still is awesome, but it makes me miss the tall kid more, sometimes. Why do people even allow me to get into relationships? Seriously. I'm such a disaster.

Had breakfast with Tess the other morning @ Saxby's. Deliriously happy to hang out with her. We had a candy buying adventure of epic proportions. I've missed her so much. Can't wait til Kathryn comes home. Things will feel saner and safer then, I think.

I've been sleeping on and off all day, and now I get to go in for a solid eight hours. Am inordinately excited.

As an aside: facebook Texas Hold 'Em may be an emissary of the evil.

H.

No. 78: A Brief Acknowledgement

What I've been trying to figure out for the past year or so has been succinctly identified by webcomic artist J. Jacques. You have no idea how depressing this is. So yeah.

Just finished Hot Fuzz for the second time.
Now going to brew some tea, page through my new Latin dictionary and read some good old fashioned epic Roman poetry.
I love new snow. Everyone smiles more, and even though it's cold, the snowflakes make you feel like you're covered and warm.

If you know Matt Diamond, and haven't already, get him to send you his remix of "Faces of the Earth" by The Dismemberment Plan. It's a PERFECT song for the snow. So is "I Wish You Love" by Rachel Yamagata. And if you're me, it's also incredibly appropriate.

I talk to Tess WAY too infrequently and I miss her. I think B is mad at me. Mum is building a massive fire, and I think I can easily talk her into making apple sauce for when I come home.
I have the next two days off, a stack of ancient Roman and Greek literature, a new journal, the internet, 7890 songs, and about 30 boxes of tea. Going to be a good few days.

H.

No. 77: The day is like us, she thinks; it hasn't decided what to become

Fell asleep listening to the Gladiator soundtrack because it's incredible.
Woke up early to study and having finished, cut on the Pride & Prejudice soundtrack, which is also incredible, but sad.
Come to think of it, they're both sort of sad. But I wanted to hear something beautiful without words. Too many words going on lately.

I miss home. I've only been gone three days, but I miss home. And being warm. Because despite how hard and how much we punch the "up" button on the thermostat, it remains a frigid 69. I feel like I haven't been warm in three days. Blech.

I have two tests today: art history and spanish. I'm actually kind of nervous about the art history one. Spanish I think will be okay. And if it's not, I'm not really sure I care. It kind of sucks that I think I'm getting a low B, instead of the A I've been trying for, but oh well. You do the best you can. And I can speak it generally well enough. My comprehension level is a lot higher than my speaking, which is the problem. Comes from translating all the Latin in school and not writing in it.

Downloading Hot Fuzz to watch tonight after I get back from class. For once, I don't have to work Thursday or Friday. I plan on a lot of sleep, catching up on my reading for finals, and watching movies. I see a lot of soup in my future, as well.

I miss B, Tess and Mum a lot right now. It gets harder as break gets closer. But ah well.
I need long johns, I think. It is just TOO cold.

H.

NO. 52: Why I've decided not to speak any more

Blech.

To room mates: I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say than that. I'm really sorry. I'm my own person too, and we've all got our own things going on. I'm indelicate and you all know that. I'm sorry.

Got a lot of reading to do. I don't really want to do any of it.
My Intro. to Fiction class was miserable today. Really truly unenjoyable. Mary and I discussed how this is such a bummer after last year. I agree. I was looking for a stretch. This isn't even exciting.

Michael and I went to a nice dinner at Gertrude's last night. Our first "going out to dinner" date. It was actually quite lovely. He looks like an extra from Igby Goes Down when he wears a suit jacket. I love it. I swear, if that woman messes up his hair this weekend, I will drive to New Jersey and perform harsh acts upon her with cutting shears.

I'm going home for the first time this weekend. There are so many people I want to see, and so many people I won't see. But I'll do my best b/c it's been a WHILE. I'm so excited to see Tess, it's silly. And it turns out Kendall's coming home at the same time. Which could be excellent. Or awkward. We'll see.

In other news, In Rainbows came out this morning. The listening party tonight should be a blast! Working at Carma's tomorrow and Friday from 10-5 so you should all come see me. I hear there are some crazy hipster kids having brunch there on Thursday morning. So that' should be fun to be around!

H.

No. 48: Broom People

The last few days have been a bit nutty.

Wednesday was jam packed. Could've been very stressed, but it ended generally well, with listening to the Cool Kids. More people need to listen to Mike's radio show on Wednesday nights from 11 to 12, b/c it's actually quite good.

Thursday was equally busy. Woke up and had a nice long breakfast with the girls. Natalie had me model for her photography project. It involved me sitting with my arms in an incredibly uncomfortable position for a bit and looking at her as though she were my husband. Then I went to work. I like working at Carma's. The environment is very relaxed. I've never washed that many dishes in my life, however. But that's fine. It's extra bank towards ink and Film society.
Came back, changed, went to the reading with Michael. I've missed readings, and I'm glad Beth Anne and Tom were the first ones. Heartily enjoyed it. Maybe one of the best bits was listening to Matt Smith, who sat in front of us, laugh at all the poet jokes. And also, the poetess's shoes were insane.

Long after, and after Bible study, Michael, Nici (his friends, my new friend), went to Rocket to Venus in Hampton. It was the epitome of hipsterdom, but I enjoyed it. Walking back was momentarily sketch when a crazy white van pulled up along side us and slowly drove for a bit. Turned out it was parking. At Chez Normyle, we had hipster photo shoot, which was absurd, but a good time. Not all in all a bad way to spend a night.

Had a talk with Matthew. It's pretty much done. I wasn't okay with that in the least, this entire week. Everything felt unsettled. But now it's done, and I can stop listening to my depressed songs playlist and actually enjoy my life right now.
I was missing people who relate to me, and generally understand my neuroses, but I've got to learn to handle these sort of things on my own, I suppose. There's other things to deal with. Spoke with B and la Heeb and my Tess. It's good for me to connect to home base I think.

I feel as though this blog has just been lacking, lately. I'll try to be relatively more winsome and amusing. For you, dear ones, for you.

H.

PS. Buck 65-- check him out. "Blood of a Young Wolf". Trust me.